GRAPHIC BY ZUYUAN ZHOU
Acceptance, Understanding
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Distinguishing the difference between understanding and acceptance can be done more easily through the use of metaphor. Say that two friends love Starbucks coffee, but one day, one of them reveals they never enjoyed Starbucks and prefer Dunkin coffee. The one receiving this news may easily accept their friend’s new taste; however, they will learn more about their friend if they learn why they love Dunkin.
People should seek understanding instead of acceptance. As of now, acceptance is a word many search for in their life to feel like they belong. However, this type of thinking harms an individual mentally because, in a way, seeking acceptance puts someone below a group. For example, someone who plans to come out to their friends might worry that their peers will not take them in for the growing person they are. When people take the time to analyze this thinking, they would realize there is a conflict. If the individual spent a lot of time with this group, then asking for “acceptance” is pointless because they would be seeking acceptance from a group they have already been part of for a long time.
Furthermore, like the example mentioned at the beginning of the article, people only get a little from asking for acceptance. Coming out takes bravery; for those who grew up in the most supportive or the worst environment. How a person receives the other person’s statement can change a life. Just saying, “I accept you for who you are,” covers the other individuals’ attempt to explain how they feel, a phrase that needs to be more because it is the red stop sign to a conversation. If people want to be supportive, let the other person speak, give them the platform and listen. Doing this allows both sides to learn something new and expand their communication.
Even after the phrase, “I accept you,” is said, the feelings of not fitting in remain. It is important to seek understanding because it shows that someone is trying and willing to climb the fence that separates two lives and look over at the person on the opposite side. In contrast, just acceptance upholds problematic institutions established by generations of stigma and closed-mindedness; choosing to be understanding tears them down.
